10 Wedding Gift Etiquette Rules Every Guest Should Follow

Weddings can be magical and emotional. They’re a time when family and friends gather together to celebrate the love and union of two people by watching them tie the knot, enjoying some amazing food and drink, and having a bit of a boogie on the dance floor (especially that one relative after a couple too many sherrys…).

If we’re being honest, weddings are also pretty expensive. Not just for the couple themselves (who spend an average of £20,822 on their special day), but also their guests. If you’ve recently been invited to a wedding, you might be thinking about the cost of travel, accommodation and a new wedding-ready outfit.

Another cost that’s likely on your mind is that of the wedding gift. Of course, gifts are a lovely way to show the couple that you love them and support their marriage. But, you might also be worried about what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to giving them a meaningful gift. You might have questions like:

• What do they want?
• How much should you spend?
• What if they don’t like your gift?
• Can you buy them something not on the gift list?

There aren’t any set-in-stone rules when it comes to wedding gifts, but there are some unofficial etiquette rules that you should think about following to make sure you’re not guilty of committing a dreaded faux pas.

That’s where we come in, to help answer your questions and melt away those worries. Below, we’ve put together a list featuring 10 wedding gift etiquette rules so you can nail your special gesture with zero awkwardness.

1. Check the gift list (it exists for a reason!)

You might feel like you know the couple really well, especially if your best mate is getting married or you’ve known the two of them since middle school. But, you shouldn’t take this for granted and overlook the fact that the couple may well have a wedding registry or gift list.

Registries exist for a reason. It’s a bit of a long-running joke that newly married couples end up with five toasters and eleven blenders, which is why gift lists are usually relied on these days. Most couples spend hours curating a registry that reflects their style and needs, from fancy cookware to honeymoon funds.

And surely the last thing you want is to buy them the perfect gift, only for Uncle Derek to have given them the exact same thing.

To prevent any duplicates or unexpected ‘surprises’, the first thing you should do is check the gift list, which loads of couples will point you in the direct of as part of the invitation or wedding website. A registry isn’t a demand or an expectation, it’s an indication to a gift they’ll love. Plus, many have options at different price points, so you can find something that suits your budget.

Make sure you check the registry as soon as possible. If you leave it too late, the popular or more affordable items might have been claimed by other guests. Don’t wait until the week of the wedding to peek at the list.

2. Respect a ‘no gifts’ request

Some couples genuinely prefer your presence over presents. Maybe they’ve lived together for years and don’t need more stuff, or perhaps they’d rather you donate to a favourite charity. Yes, you might want to give them something memorable or special, but there might be a reason behind why they don’t want a gift.

If you’re really desperate, a small token gift should be fine. But if the invitation says ‘no gifts please’, don’t ignore it and treat them to a brand-new microwave ‘just because’. If it does feel especially weird to not give the couple something, then a thoughtful handwritten card or framed photo from the day will mean more than another scented candle.

3. Spend what feels comfortable (and not what social media says)

During your research, you might have come across blog posts, wedding guides or videos on social media that break down how much you’re supposed to spend. Sometimes, influencers say the closer you are to the couple, the more you should spend. Or, it might come down to how much you earn.

Guides will often tell you something like this:

• Close friend or family: £75 – £150
• Workmate or distant cousin: £50 – £75
• Evening guest: £30 – £50

Others might tell you the cost of your gift should be more if you’re attending as a couple, or has to be at least the equivalent of the cost of your meal.

Sure, you can stick to this if you like and if you’ll feel bad if you don’t. But, we’re here to tell you that you absolutely don’t need to do this. There are no rules as to how much you should spend on a wedding gift. If your sister’s getting married but you don’t find yourself with much spare cash, then don’t get yourself into debt because you think you have to spend a certain amount.

The only rule here is that you should spend as much as you comfortably can. There’s nothing else to it. The couple didn’t invite you because they think they can get a big fat check (or nowadays, bank transfer) out of you. They invited you because they want you to celebrate with them.

Anything you decide to give will definitely be appreciated.

For more information, read our article on how much wedding gifts cost.

4. Group gifting is a power move

If you’ve checked the gift list and there’s something on there you’d like to give because you know it would be perfect but is a little out of budget, there’s nothing wrong with pooling your money with other guests to help make it happen. 

If there’s a particular coffee machine on the list that you can’t stretch to, why not ask a few others to go in alongside you? Teaming up is a great way to treat the couple to those big-ticket items, like furniture, technology or honeymoon flight upgrades that they would obviously adore.

Make sure there’s one person in your group who will organise everything. Then, agree on a budget, get the money together, and make the purchase. Just remember to include a card that clearly names everyone in the group, so the couple know exactly who contributed to thank you all later.

5. Ship the gift instead of lugging it along

Picture this: the newlyweds are trying to dance, say hello to Aunt Linda, enjoy a few drinks, and then somehow have to figure out how to carry a 48-inch TV back to their hotel after a night of celebrating (probably with a few drinks).

Not an easy feat, we’re sure you can agree.

If you plan on giving the couple something big, awkward or heavy, then consider sending it straight to their home if possible. Most online registries make it nice and easy, and you can arrange to do it either before or after the big day. It’s far more convenient and more thoughtful than them having to lug armfuls of heavy boxes around at the end of the reception.

6. Don’t wait until the last minute

You don’t have to bring a gift with you to the actual wedding. In fact, many guests send theirs weeks in advance, or even a month or two later (so long as they know the couple won’t be sunning themselves on their honeymoon, of course).

Basically, you’re free to send your gift straight to the couple any time from the moment you receive the invitation. If the actual day itself is more than a year away, you might want to wait a little bit longer, but it’s really up to you.

This helps spread out deliveries for the couple, avoids a mountain for them to sort through after the wedding, and gives you time to choose something meaningful.

7. Cash is totally okay (and often greatly appreciated)

Cash can be a rather divisive gift for some people, especially at a wedding. Only in the last 20 or so years has the ‘stigma’ around gifting cash started to lessen. It’s also becoming more common for couples to explicitly ask for cash, as it’s obviously incredibly useful when it comes to a house deposit, helping pay for the honeymoon or, in some cases, even the wedding itself.

If you’d like to give cash as a wedding gift, then you absolutely should! Here’s how to do it with a touch of class:

1. Include a thoughtful card explaining your contribution. Something like, ‘We hope this helps you with the next chapter in your life.’ Just try not to dictate how the couple should spend their gift (if you want to do that, there’s always vouchers).
2. Pop it in a pretty envelope, or consider wrapping it in paper within a gift bag.
3. Use digital cash gifting options if the couple sets it up.

And you’re done! It’s nice and easy, and the couple can do with the money exactly what they need and want to. 

8. Personalise if you go off-registry

We’ve highlighted how it’s generally the done thing to stick to the gift list. However, there might be some rare occasions when you really can’t or don’t want to. If this is you, then it isn’t the end of the world – it just means you need to be careful with what you do give if you decide to go off-piste.

One of the safest and most thoughtful ways to give a gift that’s off-registry is by giving something personalised. This also massively lessens the chance that you and another guest will double up on something. So, go crazy with creativity!

Some great personalised gifts include:

• A custom illustration of the couple or a place they love
• A photo book of their engagement party
• A bottle of wine with their wedding date on the label
• Wooden coasters etched with a photo or message
• Framed lyrics to their favourite song or poem

The key is to show the couple that you’ve put thought into it. A random candle might feel a bit like you’ve re‑gifted, but something which shows that time, thought and effort went into it will go a long way.

9. Always include a wedding card (even for cash or group gifts)

It sounds obvious, but in the chaos of wedding season, cards get forgotten.

A handwritten note can turn even a simple gift into something meaningful. Share a memory, a bit of marriage advice, or just your excitement for their future. This is your time to be extra gushy, especially if you have trouble saying the words out loud.

Whoever the gift is from, make sure to sign the card from everyone, especially if it’s a group gift. Couples often look back at cards years later and smile at the messages.

10. Gifting late? Don’t ghost, send anyway

Life happens. Maybe the wedding coincided with moving house or took place during a tight month financially. You’re not obliged to give any kind of gift, but if you do still plan on doing so, you can still send something later.

While you probably want to give the couple a gift within a couple of months of their wedding, there’s really nothing stopping you from sending something up to a year later. At that point, they’re probably still very much enjoying their honeymoon period, and the wedding will still be fresh in their minds. A late gift with a cute little note will always very much be appreciated.

Bonus tips for wedding guests

We’re all about helping you be the kind of guest everyone remembers for the right reasons, so here are a few more tips to bear in mind:

Presentation matters

If you’re giving a physical gift, take a little extra time to present it beautifully. A thoughtful wrap, a handwritten card, or even a small personal touch (like their wedding colours in the ribbon) can make a big difference. Part of the magic for the couple is unwrapping and seeing the care that’s gone into it.

Your presence is a gifttoo

Not everyone has the budget for lavish gifts, and that’s okay. What matters most is showing up on time and ready to celebrate. Bring warmth, kindness and enthusiasm for the couple’s big moment. Long after the flowers fade and the cake is gone, it’s the energy you brought that they’ll remember.

Don’t compare yourself to other guests

Avoid the temptation to look at the sort of thing other guests have given the couple and compare that against what you’ve given. Remember, it’s not a competition. They’re not going to turn their nose up at your own gift just because someone else might have given them something more valuable. It really is the thought that counts – that sounds a bit cheesy, but it’s absolutely true. So, do yourself a massive favour and don’t think about it too much.

Now you know the rules, you’re ready to go

Wedding gift etiquette isn’t about rigid rules; it’s about thoughtfulness and letting the couple know that you love them. Whether you spend £20 or £200, the best gifts show that you’re there for them and that you’re so happy for them.

So check that registry, write that heartfelt card, and send your gift with confidence. The couple won’t tally up costs, but they will feel all the love.

And, if you’re recently engaged or even in the middle of planning your own wedding, Bridebook can help you streamline the process  Sign up to Bridebook today to help plan your dream wedding stress-free!

You Might Also Like…

• How Much Do Wedding Gifts Cost? The Ultimate Guide for Guests and Couples
• How to Save Money on Wedding Gifts
• 50 Wedding Gift Ideas 2025 for Every Budget
• Wedding Gift List Guide – ft The Wedding Shop

Happy Planning!